She needed to lose about 180 pounds of fat just to be in the “safe”category. That’s right, 180 pounds. A tall woman, I was sad to see her beautiful face, trapped under sadness, anger, and resentment. I could see the frustration in her eyes as she struggled to come clean about what was holding her back. As I talked with her, it was clear something was seriously wrong. Compassion and patience were all I could offer as I listened to her story.
Her daughter, an 11 year old would be watching her mother struggle with body image, dietary concerns and of course, health issues.
I thought…”How can I help this woman change her life?” Something had to give as she wept about her struggle with weight.
She told me about the men who looked, the women who stared, the kids that poked fun. She told me about how she outgrew her clothes and eventually wound up in enormous outfits she never dreamt she’d wear. She told me about Doctors visits and how painful it was to hear that the scale could no longer bear her weight.
And then she shocked me. She wanted no training. She wanted to maintain her weight.
Her reason was simple. She knew that if she got fit, her knees would be strong enough to allow her to dance. If she was fit, she would be able to hit the dance floor and enjoy the body she had, as she had done when she was younger. Yet her husband didn’t like to dance.
This woman, this wonderful person who hurt so deeply, told me that the reason she did not want to lose the weight was because if she did, she believed she would eventually meet a man who liked to dance and she would leave her husband.
You read that correctly. She remained morbidly obese so that she would not lose her husband!
I felt terrible. And none of my motivational techniques worked. I was angry, sarcastic (I’m good at being sarcastic), honest, and of course, compassionate. Yet nothing worked. This woman wanted nothing to do with being fit.
As she and I parted ways, I wondered how difficult it must be to live like that. As always, the same thoughts came to mind…I can’t change people – they can only change themselves.
As a Trainer, I guide people. I help them get fit and I show them the way to fitness. I don’t lose weight for them. I don’t do the exercise, the cardio or the eating. Instead, I work to show them how to get the results they want and, in some cases, need. The bottom line is…this is up to you.
As you work towards your goal, keep in mind that you will face some obstacles. Overcome them. One of my favorite quotes is a simple statement “The obstacle is the path.” Whatever you come across, find a way around it, through it or over it. Keep your eye on the goal and the obstacles will become insignificant. If you’re ready for results….I’m happy to lead you to them!
